Bah, Humbug

I had the nerve to Google myself to see if I was as famous as Sherlock yet. Turns out, I'm not, which means I SHOULD have significantly less death threats than Watson. However, after a quick comparison, we found that is NOT the case and I'm receiving more death threats than should be humanly possible. Fangirls? Quite possibly. Hacker fangirls who somehow managed to rig Google so Sherlock is, according to every single site I found, "single?" Hmph. I'm onto you, Frinkleman. First it was Ethan, now it's Sherlock....What did I ever do to you? Is it the fact that I'm allergic to your pie? Huh, punk?!

Anyways, while attempting to Google myself, I found that every single first-name Egan that came up was a boy. Lovely, right? So this led to me calling my mother, and, as it turns out, my great-great-great grandfather's last name was Egan, so my great-grandmother was named Egan in honor of her, so I was named Egan in honor of my great-grandmother in honor of my great-great-great-grandfather. This would be extremely embarrassing, if I were actually popular. Let's just hope another Egan doesn't decide to come 'round to 221B for a nice little chat, eh? (Oh, and by the way, Egan is only one of my first names....yeah, I was extremely absentminded as a child, so you'll have to forgive my ignorance to the matter. I deleted it....Sherlock said it wasn't useful! I had to get Mycroft to tell me Sherlock's full name. Mine's actually "Egan Leanne Sedelia Tyler." If it helps, my godfather was a frog and my parents weren't exactly human. My mother was a house elf, and my father was a killer whale. Yes, I am being serious. And I have no idea how I'm remotely human....technically Gallifreyan. No idea.)

Oh, and Sherlock and I have decided to waltz around the world, delivering happiness and rainbows to everyone. Not true. Actually, he's on some huge case or something and has decided he absolutely MUST drag me around. Let's just say Howard got angry and sorta kinda chucked Sherlock's skull out the window, where it was then run over multiple times.....Sherlock's kind of heartbroken and has insisted that we pursue a gigantic case that I'm honestly not sure I'll survive. Killing me is so two years ago, though, so maybe I've got a chance, if the criminals are anything like Ethan.....meh.
Sher's been crying himself to sleep every night because of that skull. I keep telling him he can have mine when I die, because that's what he used to say he'd do if anything ever happened to the skull (Mrs Hudson was very persistent in trying to talk him out of keeping it), but it's not helping....so I've gone and bought him a teddy bear - a gigantic one with lovely little bows and some really matted fur. (It was Mycroft's as a child. Thankfully, Sherlock's gone and deleted that bit of info from his brain.)

By the way, Elfie, the in-laws say they're willing to give you your soup back......whatever that means. Care to explain what happened during my absence? Or is best I don't know? I get the feeling "soup" is the word I'm not quite interpreting correctly.

Oh, and Moriarty's taking the kids to Universal and Disney and everywhere they've ever wanted to go.....I'm cool with it. We sorta brainwashed Moriarty, and it should stay in effect just long enough for their vacation........so long as Mycroft wasn't lying. On second thought......*dials up Mycroft*